Giving Rings [backdated: December 25th]

[god_of_the_arena]

Gannicus knew the holiday was important to a lot of people in Darrow. It fell about the same time of year as the Roman Saturnalia and it was not far from the solstice his people had celebrated. He knew, now, that people often exchanged gifts this time of year, and he'd thought for quite some time about what he might give Krem and Hild.

His mind kept turning back toward the same thought, despite the weight it might bring. He would just have to be clear about his intentions, especially since he imagined Hild and Krem would both be familiar with what he wanted to give.

For Hild he had a lighter torc, the ends crafted into ash leaves; he also had a bracelet for her. Krem's torc had loose spirals on the ends.

He only hoped the reception went well and took a breath before he knocked on the door.

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[god_of_the_arena]

He followed her and sat on the couch beside her. For a moment he actually felt nervous, aware of the weight of the gift he held. "I know the weight a gift like this carried with my people; I wonder if yours might have had something similar. I mean to give it not to mark obligation or with expectation of anything, but--"

Gannicus cut himself off with a laugh. He had never been one to ramble, had never stumbled so hard searching for the proper words to use. Had never felt so inadequate in getting his meaning across.

"You are important to me; I cherish you as I have so few others and I would mark that with a symbol just as significant."

He unwrapped the torc and the accompanying bracelet; the torc ended in ash leaves; the bracelet had been wrought with stylized horse heads.

[light_of_the_world]

Her mind scrambled to come up with the answer to this puzzle, to know what was in his hands before he had unwrapped it. She did not like feeling off guard in this way, even if she was sure the surprise would be pleasant. Surprises were what got you killed back home and the need to know what was coming pulled hard at her gut.

Her breath drew in sharply when she saw the gifts he had chosen for her. The bracelet was beautiful, and she would have wished to put it on immediately, but the torc gave her such pause.

"Ash tree," she murmured, tracing one leaf with a feather light touch of her fingertip. "Gannicus, I--"

She loved it. It was lovely. He was lovely. But around her neck it seemed that it would be so heavy.

[god_of_the_arena]

"I know it is no small thing," he said quietly, letting the gift rest between them for her to take or leave at her will. "I give it as... a mark of devotion. That is all. I would never make demand on you or ask that you change the way that you live - I would not have that while all involved are so content."

A faint smile tugged his mouth as he looked down at the torc and bracelet. "I have something similar for Krem." He didn't know if that would change its meaning to her or not.

[light_of_the_world]

Something clenched in her heart and twisted. She thought of how happy she felt on their arms, how safe she felt when standing between them, how loved she felt when laying beside them. She thought of being held by Gannicus as she cried and holding Krem as he did. She felt that desire fire up in her again, that once she had felt for Cian: how she had held onto his belt as a child, how she wished to do so as a young woman, certain and sure and supported, thinking only Mine.

But then she thought of her last moments before arriving in Darrow: the bone shaking terror and shock, Cian so delighted and Edwin smiling too much, the symbols of Elmet before them and the promise of matrimony looming heavy, so heavy over them.

"He will love it," Hild murmured. She could see him wearing something like, how beautiful it would look on him. Her voice quieted. "I love it, too. I do, Gannicus. I-- I'm don't know if I can wear it."

[god_of_the_arena]

Gannicus gently caught Hild's chin to meet her gaze. He kissed her.

"Then do not wear it," he said, tone still tender. "I offer it freely and without demand, Hild. A thing you have earned from me, if you would see it that way. I would have you do with it what pleases you - speak desire and see it fulfilled. If you wish only to put it somewhere and look at it, I would still be happy that you accepted it at all."

A small smile tugged his mouth and he looked down between them, lightly running his thumb across the bracelet. "I thought this might cause less concern, it's weight considerably lighter. But still a token of my deep affection."

[light_of_the_world]

She shut her eyes as if trying to memorize the feel of his lips, even though she had done so long ago, the first or second brush of lips. She had known then that she wished to remember them for a long, long while.

"You give so much." In this, with the physical gift and the affection unspoken, and when he had held her as she shook under the specter of her past. Every day in his love for her. The least she could do was give a little more than her love back.

She snatched up the bracelet, too fast, and pushed it onto her wrist. Her hand stayed around it, her thumb working over the engraved, sweeping lines.

"I was to be married back home," Hild began, her voice somewhat unsteady. "To-- The betrothal ceremony was about to begin. I was seconds away from it and then I arrived here. It was a complete surprise. A shock. I felt like-- I know you ask for nothing, but I want you to know why it's hard for me."

[god_of_the_arena]

The confession made things slide into better focus; Gannicus could understand her reluctance to accept such a thing in the face of that memory. Hild didn't owe him an explanation, but he was grateful to have it.

"Was the matched desired? Or political?" He knew all too well the games of political and social gain, had been a pawn in them himself.

[light_of_the_world]

Hild swallowed. To answer truly would invite shame upon her. Perhaps even from Gannicus, who had up until this point shown her nothing but acceptance and fondness. She didn't wish to test that, to see how far his understanding could stretch.

"I was told long ago that I could not have him." That was true, but also not an answer to the first question, not really. "It was my uncle, the king's doing. Tying up loose ends, so to speak. One of his lands needed a lord. That lord needed a lady. He had less use of me, but didn't want to throw me away completely."

[god_of_the_arena]

It sounded political, the way she said it, even if she welcomed the union. It also sounded like she might be leaving something out, but Gannicus didn't press. He had no need to; if she wished to ever tell him, she would.

"You bear no obligation in this, Hild. It is a gesture without expectation, given freely with deep affection. That is all it is meant to be."

[light_of_the_world]

She nodded, but kept silent for a time, mulling on this, turning it over from all sides, just to be certain. She could not see the harm in wearing it, not just now, except that a nagging sense of disquiet pulled at her stomach. Not wrongness. There was a rightness to it. But it wasn't quite what she wanted.

Seer though she was, Hild never was good at knowing her own wants, at seeing herself.

There was definitely no harm in not wearing it, as Gannicus had said. He would not deceive her in this, even to spare his own feelings. His disappointment would be plain.

"Then I thank you." She reached out to take his hand and give his rough fingers a squeeze. She gave him a smile. "Thank you for the beautiful gift. Thank you for all the good things you give me, made tangible in this."

[god_of_the_arena]

Her gratitude relaxed him and he squeezed her hand gently. "Gratitude for accepting them."

Gannicus lifted her hand to kiss her knuckles. "Nothing changes, Hild. These are only mean to express what I cannot always find proper word for." He kissed her hand again before letting it rest between them, fingers still intertwined.

[light_of_the_world]

She nodded again, giving his fingers a squeeze, to reassure herself perhaps more than him, who remained steady and true in her eyes, more precious to her than gold.

"My gift pales in comparison," Hild admitted, huffing out a soft laugh of embarrassment. There was nothing wrong with her gift itself, she thought, but to give it after what Gannicus had given her made her second guess herself. "Though I hope you will enjoy it, as it requires time with me."

[god_of_the_arena]

"I think you have better mind for gifts than I might," he quipped. Gannicus smiled at her, soft and warm and adoring. "Especially when I did not expect one." He caught her chin to give her a kiss.