Something clenched in her heart and twisted. She thought of how happy she felt on their arms, how safe she felt when standing between them, how loved she felt when laying beside them. She thought of being held by Gannicus as she cried and holding Krem as he did. She felt that desire fire up in her again, that once she had felt for Cian: how she had held onto his belt as a child, how she wished to do so as a young woman, certain and sure and supported, thinking only Mine.

But then she thought of her last moments before arriving in Darrow: the bone shaking terror and shock, Cian so delighted and Edwin smiling too much, the symbols of Elmet before them and the promise of matrimony looming heavy, so heavy over them.

"He will love it," Hild murmured. She could see him wearing something like, how beautiful it would look on him. Her voice quieted. "I love it, too. I do, Gannicus. I-- I'm don't know if I can wear it."